blueberries and new babes

We went to the Girdwood Blueberry festival this weekend. We made the hour drive (with Emmett screaming most of the way) mainly to see our friends Cyrus and Tina and to meet their brand new babe, Joya. She was so adorable and tiny. She weighed 6lbs 14oz at birth, which is the same as our Mr. E. I cannot believe that he was ever that small or frail. No wonder I was scared of him when he was so new. I remember having friends visit when he was new and they commented about how they couldn’t believe that their daughter (who was 4 months old) was ever that small. At the time, I remember thinking that their baby was huge. Now, I’m sure Emmett seems huge. It all comes full circle.

The blueberry festival looked fun. It is probably really enjoyable for people with children old enough to pick berries. There were TONS of children, all running around with blue stained faces and appearing happy. The drive back was also filled with screaming by Emmett for the entire trip back. Poor Guy.

Sunday, we had an awesome day. It was rainy out, so we smoked some ribs, and did some cooking for the week. I’ve heard that babies sense when you are about to lose it and turn their acts around at the last second. True, of our lad. Whereas, Saturday he was grouchy, and couldn’t sleep unless he was being held, Sunday he was mellow and took naps like a champ. And we had a terrific day.

He had his 4 month check-up last Wednesday, which included some vaccines. This is probably what led to most of the fussiness. On Thursday, his daycare teacher called me to tell me he had a fever and needed to be picked up. His “fever” was 98.6, which she insisted was a fever for a baby and that he should also stay home on Friday. I didn’t know much about these things so I took him home and looked into it. It turns out a temperature isn’t a fever for a baby unless it is 100.1 or higher. I’m not sure where the miscommunication was. Aaron stayed home with him on Friday. Daddy daycare!

updates! updates!

Well, I’m a horrible blogger. I’ve thought about trying to update the blog on everything that has happened in our lives since mid-June. But that would lead to more procrastination…

So in short:

Emmett started daycare. He didn’t want/take bottles. For the first two weeks I had to go back and forth from work to daycare to feed him. After this he started taking bottles, but then threw a nursing strike. Sigh. This has also resolved itself.

My parents came to visit. It was great to see them, and ultimately much easier than flying to the Midwest, renting a car, and driving 5 hours to Kansas. This coincided with Emmett starting daycare so it was nice to be able to cry to my mom about that. I was really excited to introduce them to Emmett.

I started work again. I thought this would be horrible. But, it wasn’t bad. I would still prefer to spend all day with my little boy, but ultimately for now daycare it is. I think being a mother has helped me put aside work stress. Ultimately, little work things that used to stress me out I have a new attitude about. The do not matter to me anymore. It’s only a very small part of my day. And not an important part at that.

Aaron has done a few stints of field work. I feel like I just recently became ok with his stints away from home and used the time to watch shows he would hate and enjoy food he would dislike (olives, popcorn, pickles). Having a child makes fieldwork just awful again. It is hard work being a single parent. Kudos to all of you out there, seriously. It takes a lot of energy and isn’t for the faint of heart.

Chris and Rachel our friends from our Seattle days came to visit us. It was so great to see them both. I can’t believe I haven’t seen them in 5 years. That’s downright silly. But, you know how it is with good friends, how you can just pick right back up where you left off? I love that. I wish I could move all of our Seattle group up here (or at least, have us all live in the same spot again). It’s hard work making friends when you are adults.

We went on our first camp trip with Emmett this weekend. We went to the Lake Louise area. We didn’t stay in the campground, for fear of annoying other campers with cries. But it was great to watch Emmett. He is so curious and wants to look at absolutely everything. He also gets a little attitude when you try to prevent him from getting the absolute best view. We all had a lot of fun, and I think Emmett loved it. It was really hard to put him down to sleep at his normal 6:30pm bedtime. It doesn’t get dark here until after 11 and he was, let’s say, very reluctant to go to sleep. After 2 hours he finally crashed. He had his own tent that was set up in the vestibule of our tent (trust me, he was safe and warm). The highlight of the trip, for me, was when he woke up in the middle of the night and I unzipped our tent to get him, he saw me and the look on his face was an incredible mixture of happiness and excitement almost as if to say, “Mom! You’re here?! Isn’t this awesome!!” It melted my heart and made my night.

Aaron was hired on permanently here at AVO. This is really great for us, because we can finally settle down in one spot at least for the foreseeable future. No more moving every 2-5 years. We are excited to stay, and I would say lucky. But Aaron is terrific at his job, so whereas there might be a bit of luck involved, a large majority of it is talent and hard work.

There, I think you are caught up. Hopefully, updating now won’t seem like such a major chore. 

daycare update

we officially started daycare this week. we are only going for a few hours-half day this week to try to adjust. he had been at the daycare for 4-5 hours yesterday, and we got a call from the daycare teacher. she was concerned because he had been crying most of the day, and not really eating or sleeping. i would like to think that this is harder on me than for him; however, he does have a few problems:

1. he hates eating from a bottle. he is what you would call a "boob" man
2. the daycare isn't allowed to swaddle babies (a law). he is only used to sleeping while swaddled, and will constantly wake himself up and have really small naps un-swaddled.
3. this week has been unusually hot. apparently our babe overheats really easily and sweats, which leads to crying

poor guy, it seems like it might take awhile for him to get used to it. aaron is gone for 10 days so we can't really practice bottles without him (babies smell their mothers milk and generally will not accept a bottle from her). we have been practicing swaddling him at home with one arm out, to try to gently transition him to sleeping without the swaddle.

any mamas out there have any other ideas to help the process? the ladies at the daycare do seem really sweet and nice. i do trust them. i've heard that it can take a few weeks for little ones to get used to daycare. it just makes me sad when i go there to pick him up, he seems so sad and vacant. once we get home and play he goes back to normal.

attention working mamas

thanks so much for your concern and kind words for emmett. good news. the meds have started working and he is doing much better. he is almost like a new baby. seriously.

which brings me to my next topic. in a few short weeks (actually 17 days) i have to go back to work and the little guy goes to daycare. the thought has been bothering me for awhile, and has actually caused a few panic attacks as of late. those of you that have done this...do you have any pointers? i understand lots of moms are very excited to go back to work and have conversations with adults, yada, yada, yada. i'm not one of them, not even remotely.

to make things worse, aaron will be off doing field work on my first few days back, so i have to navigate it all by myself. i understand that in a few months this will not even be an issue. but it brings me a lot of tears now.

how do i leave this guy?

first bout of illness

well it had to happen, our little guy isn't feeling too well.

it started probably about a week ago in wisconsin. occasionally he would pull himself off, while breastfeeding and start crying. he also started to insist upon being carried only vertically. seriously, any position that wasn't straight up and down would set him off.

when you haven't had a baby before, you aren't sure what is normal. did this seem weird? yes - but so does yellow seedy poop, and that, as it turns out, is normal.

the crying during nursing got progressively worse, so we took him in to the doctor on sunday. emmett has acid reflux. the little valve near his stomach isn't closing as is should so he get stomach acid in his esophagus that can be really painful. this isn't uncommon in babies and it usually fixes itself by 6-9 months.

he now has some medicine, but it might take a few days for it to start working. also, we might have to tweak the dose, or change medicines all together if this one doesn't work. so we are still in for a few rough days.

i can handle a fussy baby, but once you know he isn't being fussy - that he is actually in pain. it makes the whole thing really hard to endure.

also, until the medicine works, i'm having to get really creative in terms of trying to find a nursing position that is best for him. so far, this has resulted in sore back and arms.

but this cutie is worth it.

the first two weeks

i expected the worst with pregnancy. i had heard all kinds of horror stories, and was prepared to be miserable, especially towards the end. i was delightfully surprised at how ok it was. the worst part for me was that it somewhat forced me to into the limelight a bit more than i would like. and the annoying comments after my due date came and went. overall not bad, and some parts were...gasp...pleasant.

i was not, however prepared for the first two weeks of having a newborn. i knew it would be hard. but i failed to realize how hard. i knew i would be sleep deprived, but i had no idea to what extent. i didn't even think about the huge part that hormones would play.

there were days that i functioned on 1 hour of sleep in a whole day. every decision felt like it could alter his entire life, i was a sobbing mess that didn't feel capable of the huge responsibility in front of me. he was (is) so small and precious, how in the world am i supposed to take care of him and know what to do? poor aaron, was so patient (with us both).

things i have learned about motherhood:

1. motherhood can be heavy. the love is unlike anything you have experienced before. and though that sounds pleasant, it is also incredibly overwhelming. days start and end with the saddest cries you have ever heard that bring you to a panic. normally a capable person, i found myself googling every single thing "is green poop normal for a newborn?" or "how to get your newborn to sleep in his bassinet" and feeling like i wasn't good enough because i didn't know the answer to any of it.

2. motherhood is like a sisterhood. no joke. before i was a mom, if i heard someone was expecting i would tell them congratulations and buy them a gift. that was it. simple. i have been floored by the way that other mothers have been so generous. offering to go to the store, bringing us food, asking how i'm feeling. bringing flowers. offering words of encouragement, support, and understanding. the support has been overwhelming from mothers far and near. i can not wait to pay it forward to the next newbie.

things are getting better. i am way less hormonal and crazy, and i'm averaging about 5-6 hours of sleep a night (not consecutive, but still way better). emmett has brought such love and joy to our house and i am forever thankful he is ours. motherhood will always be hard, i know, but the rewards are even greater.

introducing emmett joshua wech

our sweet boy, emmett joshua, was born two weeks late on friday, april 3rd, at 6:58pm. he was 6lbs 14 oz and was 20.5 inches long. everyone is doing well. we are happy, healthy, sleep deprived and in love.

that's the abbreviated version. if you want the long story see below. 

labor officially started on tuesday. the midwives checked me and i was only a 1/2 cm dialated after being a week and a half late. trish, our midwife and friend, gave us the option of trying a catheter to get the ball rolling. it was inserted in the morning and by 2:30pm contractions had started. they kept going until midnight. then they stopped. 

we went back to the midwives the next day. i was 3cm dialated and they gave me herbs, dieter tea and told me to pump as a way to bring about contractions. nothing happened when i was trying these methods, but contractions started on their own again around midnight and lasted until 7:30am. just long enough to not get any sleep. 

that morning the lora, one of the midwives, checked and I was 4cm dialated. she did a membrane sweep and sent me home. contractions started for the last time that thursday morning at 11:30. they continued the entire day and into the night. 

by 3am they had became so intense that my screams woke aaron up. he helped me get in the shower which helped a lot with the pain...until we ran out of hot water. he then surprised me with jelly beans he had sneakily purchased for the occasion (i couldn't have any sweets the last 14 weeks due to gestational diabetes). i suffered through another hour of contractions then got back in the shower after our hot water was replenished. soon after, the contractions got to the magical 4 minutes apart stage and we got to call the birth center. i remember as we left our house that it was incredibly weird to know that the next time i came home i would be a mother. 

when we got to the birth center it was about 6:30am on friday. friday was our two week mark, so at the end of the day we would risk out of the birth center and have to go to the hospital to be induced. i had been in labor around 33 hours total. karin, the midwife on call checked me and i was still just 4cm dialated. no progress from the day before. this news broke my spirit. i sobbed. i hadn't slept in two days, the contractions were unbearable and i was no closer than i had been the day before. i sat in a warm bath at the birth center while aaron tried to console me. 

trish, our friend and coincidentally also a midwife, arrived around 9am. she gave us our options: i could take some ambian and try to sleep, go to the hospital and try some morphine, or go to the hospital and get an epidural and get induced. aaron and i talked. i really really wanted to get an epidural and be induced, but i felt like a failure for giving up on natural childbirth. he and trish both reassured me that i gave it a solid effort for 3 days. there was no failure. i felt so relieved at that. we then headed to the hospital. 

the epidural took about an hour to get, but our nurse, jena, gave me something lovely to help me relax until then. after the epidural was in place, aaron and i both slept for about 4-5 hours. trish then came back to check on me. after a quick look, she said it was time to push - i was at 10 cm!  at this point i was in disbelief. the entire thing felt like i was in a movie.

the pushing began around 4:30pm. trish, jena, aaron and i were the only ones in the room. trish was a terrific coach. aaron held my leg, held my hand, and got me all the water i wanted. after about 2.5 hours of pushing, emmett joshua wech was born!

i was concerned right away, as he was quiet and there were no screams. also there was suddenly a team of nicu doctors in the room. they explained that emmett had meconium in his lungs, and they needed to be vacummed out. sure enough, less than a minute later, aaron was placing him on my chest. i was crying and shaking so hard. he was perfect and healthy.

he was named after my great uncle, emmett, which is also my father's middle name. and josh, aaron's brother.